Dike Chukwumerije lists 8 things he hates about being married

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A Facebook user Dike Chukwumerije has written on his
page eight things he hates about being married. Enjoy!
8 things I hate about being married to you by Dike
Chukwumerije
1. You are shouting something from somewhere, only God
knows what you’re saying. So I look up from my desk and
yell, ‘What did you say?” You shout back something, only
God knows what you’re saying. So, I grumble to myself, get
up, walk to the top of the stairs and yell, “What did you
say?” And you shout back something, only God knows what
you’re saying. So, I hiss to myself, walk down the stairs, to
the door of the living room, and find you curled up on the
couch reading. So, I take a deep breath and ask quietly,
“What did you say?” And, looking totally surprised to see
me there, you peer over your book and say, “Oh, I was just
wondering where you were.”
2 . If I ask upstairs, then ask downstairs, then ask before I
start peeling it if you want dodo and you say, ‘No, no, no’.
Then I peel it and fry it, sit down to eat it, and you sit
opposite me – and in the name of ‘keeping me company’ –
take one single dodo and put in your mouth. I hate it.
3. When I am sleeping and you wake me up because I am
snoring. Honestly, before God and man, is it fair?
4. You complain and complain that you take care of
everybody in this house from morning till night and nobody
ever takes care of you. So I get up the next morning and
say I will make you breakfast, and you act excited and
follow me to the kitchen. Then I open the cupboard and
select one pot, and you sigh like someone recently
bereaved. So, I ask, ‘What is it?’ And you say, ‘That is my
wok. I only use it when I’m making Chinese fried rice’. So I
select another one, and you say, ‘Ehm, I don’t use that
frying pan anymore.’ And I turn around and ask, “Should I
let you do this?” And you say, “Perhaps it is best”.
5. You come into the sitting room. I am watching a movie.
You ask, “What is that?” I press the “i” button. You read the
info and say, “This is a nice movie, why didn’t you call
me?” I say, “Sorry”. You sit down. Three seconds later, you
ask me, “Who is this man?” I say, “I don’t know. I have not
watched the movie before.” Ten seconds later you ask me,
“Is he going to kill her?” I say, “I don’t know. I have not
watched the movie before.” Six seconds later you scream
and ask me, “Will she die?” Honestly, I hate it.
6. You hold up 2 dresses and ask me to pick one. I do a
quick ‘tun-bum-tun-bum’ in my head and point to the one
in your right hand. “Really?” You look disappointed.
“Doesn’t it make me look fat?” So, I point to the one in your
left hand. “Really?” You look disappointed. “I think it makes
me look short.”
7. When we are sitting at a table somewhere and a girl with
a ‘look at it’ bum walks past and you immediately start
looking into my eyes, and keep looking into my eyes till she
has passed the point where I can only see the glory by very
obviously turning my head… Honestly, before God and man,
is this fair?
8. Now, you are frowning. So, I ask, “Is everything ok?” You
say, “Yes.” And I go back to writing this article. Please,
how is this ‘insensitive’?
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